Wednesday, April 20, 2011, 7:30 PM
It's days like this that I just wanna run away from everything and everyone. It's days like this when I run the blade gently across my skin and all I think of is cutting, cutting and cutting. It's days like this that I just wanna trash and smash everything in sight. It's days like this that make me feel like if I live through this and bleed all it's worth things might get better again.

I wish I had a different face, a different life. Another persona without the bullshit and the lies. I wish I could bend and break these hands of Time. Maybe then, things would've been different.

If I were my own superhero, I would stop myself from falling for the same mistake twice. Would have played by the rules and never let anyone in.

I believed in shooting stars, God and 11:11. But not anymore. Not anymore.
There are no gods and hope round here. Just a fucking barrel to my head, a rope around my neck and my legs are begging, pleading to leap.

I believed in love. When I first met you.
But now, trapped in my own fucking mind, I see now that someone like me never believed in love.
Only in selfishness, self-pity and self-hate.