Cut hair. Lose some weight. Save money. Learn some drums. Practise growling. Read some books. Catch up on music.

Be happy. Stop being moody. Try to be less bithcy.
Be grateful for the little things.

Accept reality and take it like a man.

Start getting you life together, self.
These seventeen years wasted won't come by again.

And this time, I'm gonna bleed all it's worth for my dreams.
A misfit of all sorts. I don't believe in gods. Not anymore.

I long to refute everything into inexistence. I long to combust this world with my bare hands.
And return to home.

It used to be me, the emptiness and the tireless seek for self gratification.
When has it turned to such bitter loneliness and the irrational pursuit for perfection? I don't even remember myself.

I never wanted this. Never wanted to choose between two worlds.
Never should have stepped out of here.
Because now everything here seems upside down.

A misfit of all sorts. Scared and tired. I've never felt so far from home before.
It has always been two worlds.
Always will be.

Empty is the sky before the sun lights up.
Empty is the faces of the drugged and stolen.
Empty is the feeling of discarded expectations.
Empty is the eyes of the people without roses.

Or maybe that's loneliness.
Like perfection is flawlessness and money is power.

Or maybe it all lies with perceptions.
Opinions. Beliefs. Ethics. Social norms.

Or maybe it's nothing at all.
Just ambiguity, naivety and bitterness.
This paranoia is eating me alive.
It's hopeless. Fucking hopeless being blinded by irrational hope.

Reinvented myself. Reinvented love.
But it's never gonna be enough.

You can tread on water and air all you like, baby. Or fly to delirious dizzy heights of talent and inspiration. Or even breathe ecstasy and drown in its warm glow.

Because reality will have its last laugh. Always.

You will never ever ever be good enough.
Remember that.

This happiness is only a dream.
So sleep tight.
And keep your heart loose.
Sweetheart, you're sadly mistaken.

Id rather die in a world that hates me than live with your lies.
Sometimes I have nothing but contempt for the people around me. With their perfect little lives and saintly characters.
People like them will never understand.

I long to burn this elitism and hypocrisy down.
Even if I burn with it.

So you dont have to pretend to be friends with me, because youre just like them.