If this is what makes you happy, then go ahead.

I'll live with the heartache and look back upon the days once loved.

You can't save me from myself. Im asking too much for too little.
Sometimes, I just wannna throw my arms up and give up.

I don't know why I still bother.

A few more years, and I'm outta here.
When did this little drip of thoughts mutate into a gargantuan billowing storm? Was it a week ago? A month ago? A year ago? Or has it always been like this?

Why did you...?
I wasn't happy with the faces they gave me. Wasn't satisifed with the one I had.

So I tore myself apart with desire and expectations.
Funny how old habits are so hard to kill sometimes.

Why did you...?
I don't know why. I just had to, wanted to.
If I didn't, I don't know what to do

Now I did, I don't know how to stop.
I'm well aware that I'll never fit in.
Just like how I am aware that the rest of the world is plagued by fools pretending to be kings.

And it doesn't matter what you think. Really, what makes you think you matter at all? Maybe, you do to someone else. But to me, you're just another point waiting to be seen, reiterated, and forgotten.

Still it doesn't mean I have to do what you expect of me.
Losers in love.
It was all butterfly notes and cyanide kisses.
Fingers across lips.
Glassy eyes and cigarette-stained lies.

How much more can you take?
How much more can you fake?

Barrel in your mouth.
The foul, rusty, acrid taste of gunpower and saliva.
Fingers across the keyboard.
When all they are doing really is begging to pull the trigger.

How much more to make you wake?
How much more to make you break?

How much more before you have nowhere to fall to but hell?

The pursuit for truth and sanity only brings you further.
But the mirror never lies.

You haven't changed.
And you never will.