Five years ago, I walked away, swore to myself I would never let anyone else see this ugly side. The pain, the hurt and the humiliation were enough reasons for me to leave. Yet, the stupidest thing was, it felt as if you were home and I was so fucking insecure without you. After I left, I swore to myself never, never to let myself feel that way again. So cheap, so unwanted, so fucking weak.

Two years ago, you ran away; turned tail and ran. Was it because I was pushing and you were falling? I tried to grasp you, but you slipped away. I cried, like a fucking baby, like the girl I used to be and tried so hard not to be.After that, I swore, again, to myself, never, never, never to see myself become that depraved figure crying in the corner ever again.

One year ago, I ran away. Keeping to my oath, I didn't shed any tears over you. The smile, the lies and the loss I felt were enough reasons for me to leave. Because I knew, that I was trying too hard for you. With you, it's as if I'm that stupid girl five years ago. Truth was? You were everything, and that was the problem. Truth is? Now that you're nothing, that is the problem. Maybe things shouldn't have gone that way. There was everything I could have done to salvage my wrongs. But I didn't.

I stuck to my oath.

And the funny thing was, I didn't make me feel any better than I felt five years ago.