I would like to take time off from school and mosh/headbang all day to all my favourite songs, then fall asleep and wake up to a terrible headache and neckache. I would like to just talk to my guitar all day long and play out of tune songs, singing in my out of tune way. I would like to put on my headphones and practise my growls for hours and hours.

I want to fall asleep and wake up anytime I feel like. I want to spend days in bed doing nothing but writing and reading. I want to run in a rainy night and disappear with it. I want to take time off my life and catch a few bands live, to live like another life somewhere else.

And sometimes, I think I'm losing my grip on reality. I dream and I wake up thinking dreams are real. I sleep so I don't have to feel. I cry because I realise the naivety in my words.
I wake up thinking it's morning, when it's really night and realise I'm dreaming. Then I wake up again, see that it's night and think that I'm dreaming again, when it's really still night.

Today, I felt pity. I felt a need to make things better. I felt like punching someone. I felt remorse and worthlessness. I felt myself longing for someone's voice. I felt like telling him everything is okay and let's be friends again. I felt like running and screaming. I felt like a punchbag, again.

And I realised, maybe I'm not feeling what I think I'm feeling. Maybe, it's just make-pretend. Maybe, I'm dreaming. Maybe, tomorrow, I will wake up and know that today has just been a dream. Maybe, there isn't a tomorrow.

So for today, I'm going to tell myself:
Nothing interesting happened today. So what I'm gonna do is pretend that a million interesting things happened and go to bed excited lol.

Then maybe tomorrow morning I will wake up from this life and laugh at this stupid dream that I have about ranting on my blog.